Ready... and Breath!

I've had to keep reminding myself that this month.

I went through a lot, but I was able to handle it!

Most of my pain has been relieved,

let me explain :)

Back Relief:

My back feels so much better! There are still moments when it's tender, but that's what happens with back injuries, they never really go away. I'm okay with that now. :) My coworkers have been awesome and let me rest my back for a week or so until I was up for lifting things, like children, again. My amazing friends have given me lots of back rubs and shoulder massages and helped me pop my back when it got stuck in a funk.

School Relief:

Finals are finished, finis, terminado, klaar, terminat, finito, and fertig! Hallelujah! I finished everything I needed to do. I may have not done it all with flying colors but I did what I could with the metal capacity I had at the moment. I used my planner and found joy in crossing things off that I finished! I know that I have one A, I think the rest will be B's but I don't really care anymore! Now I just need to register for next semester! Woot woot!

Social Relief:

I still miss my friends, but in a good way. Ephraim was able to come back like once a week so I got to spend time with him! Allie left, BUT I got a letter from her yesterday! :D She loves the MTC and thinks I would love it too... I think she was hinting at something haha. But that's not on my current list of things to do... SO ANYWAY! I love her and I'm so glad she's doing what she feels is right, just like I am. I have also been able to spend time with my other friends. Yes, we were all busy with finals for about two weeks there, but now we're all done and making big plans for the break... or at least lots of little plans! Oh and I still don't want a boyfriend, but the thought doesn't make me break out in a cold sweat anymore. I think I'm ready for anything my Father in Heaven has planned for me! And I have every one's Christmas presents ready and I'm so excited to give them out! I don't even know if I can wait 'til Christmas!

Family Relief:

I get to see my mom more! I'm done with school and I can see her after work and on Saturdays! We even went shopping yesterday, SO MUCH FUN! Love that amazing, talented, beautiful woman! My dad and I have been on better terms lately! We just give each other space and I'm home more because school and finals are over. Happiness in the household.

Moving-Out Relief:

So life happened and Elisa may not be moving out with me anymore, she is deciding on which college to go to and then she will move out/in with me if she ends up going to the University of Utah. I and totally supportive of this decision and I want her to do what is best for HER, not me. However, I have found a totally awesome duplex and I will be moving in with my childhood friend Annie and possibly my friend Alexis if all goes well. (Elisa might move in once the school situation is sorted out.) I'M STOKED!!! I have sent in my application to the landlord and they will let me know asap! I may be on my own at the first of the year. I also will probably be dirt pour, so the simple pleasures will be my entertainment! :) Oh so happy!

Colon Relief:

My doctor and his nurse are pretty much my heroes right now! They have taken care of me these past three years as I have been dealing with my ulcerative colitis. Amazing people (once again, as in strikes AWE.) My body hasn't really reacted to the stress even though I ran out of medication for like a week or two. It's been handling it like a champ! I know I have been blessed and I am eternally grateful to my Heavenly Father. PLUS I haven't even had a flare up even though I let my defenses down over the past few days. I'm healthy and happy once again!

I have so much to be grateful for!

My friends and family have been absolutely amazing.

I could not have made it through with out them.

It would take way to long to write.

Basically I have been able to

LAUGH, TALK, DANCE, PLAY, SLEEP IN,

and just be happy again.

Christmas break, here I come!

hEaD eXpLoDiNg

That is the only description to what I feel like right now!!!
THERE IS SO MUCH ON MY MIND RIGHT NOW!!!
Let me try and explain coherently.

BaCk PaIn:
I hurt my lower back last Thursday at work... I fell off some playground equipment and I'm not going into detail... then went country swing dancing that night after not going for like a week and a half. I was not gentle to my body, thus I could barely move the next morning. THEN on Saturday I went shopping for four hours (whole body ached) and then was teaching my friend a swing dancing move later that evening. Well, he dropped me... on my head. It felt like my head was pushing my spine into itself... but getting stuck in an upside down 'v' position (^). OUCH. Luckily my friend Nate is an EMT and he came to my rescue. I did get a blessing from my awesome friends last night and it's amazing how much it helped! (You guys are the best!) However, I'm still recovering and sitting in a position for too long makes my back ache... like studying for example!

sChOoL pAiN:
Thus bringing me to my next head exploding issue! I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO!!! (Yes, I know I could be working on this issue right now by not blogging, but I tried to do that for like an hour with no avail because I cannot focus when I have so much on my mind. Thus, I'm technically being productive my getting all my thoughts out on "paper.") I am taking four classes and I have 4 assignments and a project due next Monday, a huge test tomorrow (that is pretty much impossible to completely study for), an assignment due on Wednesday and a project to start before time gets away from me, and a quiz and 2 projects to start for my Thursday. I plotted out all the stuff I need to do today in my planner... I started hyperventilating! Oh and I didn't include everything... that would take WAY to long.

SoCiAl PaIn:
So I miss my friends. Ephraim is away for work till Dec. 8th, which just so happens to also be the day that Allie leaves on her mission. Sadness/Happiness... Crying will be the only option! BUT I also can't focus on it because that is the week before finals!!! :'( AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Then my other friends are calling me, texting me, confronting me about how I never see them anymore and they want me to make time for them!!! I cannot please everybody and I feel like if I try then I will please nobody! I think I'll just not try and take care of myself... but we all know that I can't do that either. It's against my nature.
I also miss having someone in my life. I want a boyfriend, but I don't want to date... but then I also don't want a boyfriend because I don't even have time for my family or myself half the time. UGH.

fAmIlY pAiN:
I never see my mom anymore. She leaves at like 5:30 am for work when I'm deep in dreamland and I get home around 12:00 am when she is deep in dreamland. Needless to say... I MISS MY MOMMA! Next, my dad accuses me of not caring about my family and never making time for them, thus I almost avoid being home to not get looks from him because, according to his standards, I will never spend enough time at home. Cameron has the life, he comes home and gets a standing ovation and then tells me what I should change in my life. Helene thinks I'm being stupid for not being home and then continues to criticize me about the rest of my life, particularly dating. I think she will never approve of anything I do. Plus if she gets her first straight 'A' report card (in her senior year after NOT doing well in her junior year) my dad praises the ground she walks on and asks if I ever got straight A's (I did. I got them so often that my parents stopped noticing them!) Brandon, my adorable 13-year-old brother, is always making snide comments about seeing me... "wow, what are you doing home? it's 10 pm." It all just hurts!

MoViNg-OuT pAiN:
Elisa and I will be moving out soon. We've pretty much got everything needed to move out! (except a microwave and a vacuum... but we're accepting donations... hint hint ;) ) We just need to find a place that will pass the dad test (harder than you may think) and our budget test! But when will we move out??? Don't know, still looking for a place and a time to do it... all around finals time.

cOlOn PaIn:
So add all that stress up and apply it to my easily sickened body. My ulcerative colitis reacts to stress and I get sick. I won't go into detail, just trust me that it ain't pretty and it sure is painful! Menstrual cramps got nothing on this. Oh and I need to reapply to get help to pay for my medication because it's super expensive, luckily my doctor is awesome!!! (as in strikes AWE).

So there might be more,
but they would fit under multiple categories.
Basically I just want to
S C R E A M, C R Y, S L E E P, C U D D L E, T A L K,
and just be okay again.

Welcome to Finals. See you in a month.

Slacker... and Tributes ;)

Okay... so I am a slacker when it comes to my blog(s) lately! School started and my new job and I've been basically away from a computer for days at a time! I work Mon.-Thurs. 8:45-3:30 then I have a class those nights from 4:35-7:05... and after that I either do homework or something social... you guess which one happens more. Fridays I work from 8:45-1:30... and then party all weekend! Oh... I work at an elementary school as a Special Ed Aide! BEST JOB EVER! Those kids are soooooo cute! I definitely have my favorites (and yes there are multiple!).

BUT life is good! ZETA has started and I love it! I barely see my best friends in the world. I see a lot of my guy friends though! Thus NO drama ;) No wonder I haven't gotten a flare up this semester yet! WOOT WOOT!

So I want to tribute three beautiful women who have helped me in my life in the past month!

Allie Vincent:
Allie has been my best friend for the past 2 1/2 years and I love her SOOO much! She has recently received her mission call to Nashville Tennessee!!! She is pretty much the most beautiful person I have ever met! She's absolutely hilarious, spontaneous, talented, kind, and SO TOTALLY THERE FOR YOU! She once ran a marathon with mono... she didn't know she had it at the time but she felt sick and STILL finished! AMAZING!!! I love her love her love her! She's practically my sister and my siblings' sister too!!!! (that's a big deal) She tells me how it is, good or bad. I love her and she gets mad at me each and every time I tell her how amazing she is!

Sarah Matheson:
Wow, this is a girl you want to hate because she is so beautiful and talented and kind and... practically perfect... BUT you can't. It's pretty much impossible. She lifts everyone around her and never thinks of herself, but she's got quite the collection of people who would do anything for her! Sarah is not dramatic... drama just comes to her because dramatic people are drawn to un-dramatic people... not that I'm dramatic or anything ;). She is always saying kind things and loving everyone she meets! I was a wanderer when I first met her and she gave me a home! I will love her forever.

Elisa Warren:
Soon to be my roommate. Elisa always puts others first and is so much fun to be around. She is so smart!!! She is taking 7 classes this semester and is handling them like a genius handles one class! We have all these awesome plans for when we get a place together and I'm seriously stoked because we just know how each other is and how to handle even the worst situations. Elisa listens. Always a good quality, but she really listens and doesn't jump to conclusions... too often ;) she is reasonable and so nice! She is my Blondie and I am her Sally Secretary! I love how she always tells me how it is no matter what. She doesn't sugar coat things for me, which is what I need!!! Oh I love Elisa!!!

I pretty much have the best friends ever!!! I love them all and I can't write about each of them on here... it would take way too long and I'm afraid that I would leave someone out! But anyway... my friends are playing Rock Band in the next room aaaand I should probably join them!
Don't forget to dance in the rain!!!