I'm in Love, I'm in Love, and I Don't Care Who Knows It!!!

I'm the luckiest girl in the entire world.
I'm in love with my best friend!

Anthony and I began "officially" dating on July 9th, but our journey to becoming the most adorable couple you know started back in October of 2011. Now I must warn you that this is a long and complicated story of which I will try to sum up in a detailed manner... without boring you half to death.

In August my friend Grif started introducing me to some of his high school friends who are actually my age. Yep, he tried to set me up with guys. It kinda worked...? I dunno. Depends on your definition. ANYWHO! I then went to a pool night and met more of the guys and they began to convince me to come to their Sunday night game nights! At the time, I was having a game/movie night at my house on Sunday nights and was unwilling to cancel it... Then I did. (Yep. I just shortened the story!) So at the end of August I went to game night every week and started meeting lots of guys! Many of which were showing interest in me (I was in heaven) and my dating life was finally interesting. I won't go into detail about the different guys... yet. Then, Anthony entered the scene. I thought he was SOOO attractive with his longer black hair, swooped off to the side, his angular face and brows, and he was tall! BONUS! However, I being my shy self, did not approach him. (You don't have to believe that I am shy, but I am when it's a one-on-one situation I clam up..) He didn't approach me either. That was October 9th.

About two weeks later I went to a Pumpkin Pancake night at my friend's house and Anthony was waiting inside. Looking dashing I might add! Well we got to talking and hit it off. He got my jokes and I got his. We proceeded in this wit war all night. Other guys tried to grab my attention, but it was all on Anthony. At the end of the night I did something that I regret... I smacked him in the back of the head. Yes I was flirting, but he did not know it. It made him go back into his shell and he didn't pursue. GHAAA! He eventually got my number by slyly asking for it on facebook when I asked him why he didn't come to game night when it was at my house. He got lost and couldn't call me... See? Very sly.

As time went on... he didn't ask me out... he didn't ask to hang out... and I moved on, but I would often talk to him on facebook chat. We shared personal stories and ideas for hours and hours. I would often get on to just see if he was on! On one occasion, he actually told me that he likes me, but I wasn't his top choice... Just as he wasn't mine. Well I was feeling hopeful! Maybe he'd ask me out soon! The next day, Anthony's relationship status changed to "in a relationship." I kinda died inside, but I was happy for him! Well, kinda. Our conversations went down in frequency from then on. Then I started spending time with Bryant and Anthony approved the relationship... so I started officially dating him at the end of November.

Time went by.

About 2 months actually. Bryant broke up with me on January 9th. Michelle broke up with Anthony a few weeks later. We relied on each other through the hard times that followed while occasionally talking at game night and on facebook.

Then came April! I was having a hard time being single and I had a wake up call about how blessed I was... then Anthony came to my mind. He was such an awesome guy, but no one would invite him to hang out! I once promised myself I'd never let other people be forgotten like I once was. Therefore, I began texting him and hanging out with him late every night. We would talk for hours and hours and I loved learning more about him, although I must admit that I did most of the talking. :)

Over time, old feelings started coming back for both of us. Anthony began expressing desire to date me. And... I hesitated. I disappeared for two weeks. He noticed. I sorta came back, but crap had hit the fan.

Mutual friends' opinions of me had greatly decreased. It was really hard for me to deal with! These were close friends of whom I relied greatly on in past hardships. But it came apparent that I couldn't express my dating stress to them. I was going on upwards 7 dates a week with different guys on top of seeing Anthony almost everyday, full time school, and two jobs. It was hard and confusing. I found myself praying for guidance almost every night. I just had the feeling to keep going. So I did.

Then came the pressure.

Pressure from EVERYWHERE! Lots of different friends wanting to know why we're not dating. Other friends wondering why Anthony is wasting his time. It created a lot of stress to add to the frustrations of a dating life. I needed a vacation.

So I went on one!

My friend Elisa and I drove to San Francisco to visit my little sister Helene. However, before I left I told Anthony that I'd have an answer for him when I got back. It was a wonderful week! We were there over Independence Day (The fireworks there are FANTASTIC!!!!) and it was a very relaxing week. We met locals and got to see their way of life and share part of ours. :) I think the most influential part was seeing how kind people were to each other and being treated with respect... Even from drunk men on the street. Yeah... I grew tired of Utah boys. I gave up on all the boys back home who were being stupid... Except Anthony. I continued to text him and send him pictures of our adventure.

Coming home was hard. I didn't want to go back to school and work, but I especially didn't want to tell Anthony my decision.

My Decision

I needed time to think. Time to myself. Time away from dating. Therefore... The answer was no. I couldn't handle a relationship. I just needed my best friend, Anthony.

We got home on Sunday morning, but I avoided seeing Anthony that night. I went to a little get together with some friends and met some new guys... They were smart and fun and mature. I had a renewed hope for Utah men again. I felt as though I should "just keep swimming."

The next night I went over to Anthony's after Family Home Evening (FHE). I finally told him that I just needed him as a friend and he told me it is okay and he needs me in his life too. I'm his best friend and he wants me in any way he could get.

And just like that the pressure was gone!

I got to keep him in my life. I got to keep talking to my friend, a friend who understood me more than any other. He had been through hard times just as I had. He had relied on the gospel throughout it all. He knew life was hard. He knew how to make it easy. He knew he should rely on God. He knew how to dance in the rain.

I had a wake up call. I started reconsidering my decision to not date him. I was battling my head, my heart, and my Heavenly Father. I was scared of hurting Anthony. I was scared of ruining what we had.

Finally, God gave me a figurative kick in the butt. There I had my handsome BEST friend sitting next to me who also happened to want to date me... And I was saying no. Dumb. Then I had to decide how to tell him I had changed my mind. Should we go on a walk? Should I ask him to ask me one more time?

I turn to Anthony, of whom had been talking, but I had no recollection of what it was about... I guess I was really deep in thought... And say,

"Do you want to date?"

His response: "Are you serious?" I assured him I was and he responded "yes."

We talked a little more then it came time for me to leave. I got out of the car to say goodbye. He asked if he could kiss me and then proceeded to give me a kiss that was like kissing a fish and a wall... Then he panicked, gave a few more kisses and RAN away.

"What have I gotten myself into?"

The best decision of my life.