My Mother

I love my mom. I really really love her!!! She is the most talented woman I have ever met! She can do EVERYTHING. Sew, bake, shop, stretch a dollar a million miles, decorate cakes, talk for hours, listen, and love.

My mom has done so much for me. When I moved out recently, she was sick that morning and couldn't help me move all my stuff over. I was sad, but I knew she never stays down unless she's really sick. I worked at 4 that evening and came to find out that she was going to move all the little stuff over that was missed. When I got off work she was there ready to help me put stuff away. The next day I was really busy with school, work, and ballroom rehearsal and didn't have time to unpack. Well my mom borrowed my key so she could clean. When I got home later that night my room was put together and my stuff put away. It was such a blessing and so peaceful after a very long day. :) She did it because she loves me.

Back in Jr. High I would not talk to my mom about boys or anything of consequence because I was so embarrassed. Then an amazing thing happened :) I realized that she would listen and I said to her, on one occasion, that she is my best friend. Her response startled me. "I'm not your friend. I'm your mom." It stuck with me. I didn't understand it back then, but now I know that having a true mother is so much better than a best friend any day.

My mom has helped me through so many trials and prevented many too. I have learned so much through her example. I am striving to become like her. I have big shoes to fill and it's intimidating at times, but I know that as long as I'm the best me then she'll always be proud of me.

Thank you mom.

I love you.

Happy Mother's Day.

Your very proud daughter,
Aubrey

Heal and Trust

People get rejected. It happens. It's called life. However, I tend to - like many people - think back to the most recent relationship that was somewhat successful. This happened one night when I was having a hard time being single with seemingly no hope for the future. It was one of those relationships that ends without any particular explanation and I'm left to myself to sort it all out. But... I can't... So I did what I always do when I don't understand or when I feel weak.

I prayed.

I prayed to understand, I prayed for strength, I prayed for peace. To be honest, prayer is one of the things I've been working on getting better at. I tend to be so tired from my overly productive day that I end up falling asleep while praying. This was not one of those prayers. There was earnest power behind it. However, I still forgot about it by the next morning.

The next day was Stake Conference for the Holladay YSA Stake. They changed the Stake Presidency at this meeting so it was filled with talks from the "old" leaving and the "new" coming in. Some talks were long and some were very very short.

I remember one talk in particular though. He was a missionary, and older missionary. His wife had just sat down and what she said was lost to me as soon as he opened his mouth:

"One of you is looking for an answer to your question, he said, it may even have been last night.... I'm going to answer that question. Christ suffered in Gethsemane. He suffered more than any other. On his way out of the garden, a group of men met him. One of them lost an ear to Peter's blade. Christ reached out and touched his ear and it was healed. I testify that Christ will reach out and heal you, but it won't be your ear.

"It will be your heart.

"He will touch your heart and it will heal. Trust him." then he ended his talk. I wiped away my tears in vain as I looked over at my new roommate who was crying just like me. I felt the spirit. It was so strong. I feel it even now as I record the events. I know that my HEART will heal. I just have to trust in the Lord, for it is through Him that I will be healed.

Counting

"A friend is someone who does things that count, but never stops to count them."

It's invigorating to finally just be happy with myself and recognize all of the blessings that I have. It is interesting because my biggest pitfall in my personality is to blame myself for everything. It's not a healthy habit, but I am getting a handle on it with a little extra help.

I started a habit of writing in a journal when I was about 13 years old. I did not have very many friends back then and it was my release, that and poetry (I won't let you read it, it's just depressing). ANYWAY! I've cultivated that habit and I have filled many many books with my random ramblings. It's really fun to look back at what I was doing _______ days/months/years ago. However, when I'm really tired I tend to write an itinerary of my day and it is really boring with very few memories. Which is strange considering that I strongly believe that everyday is filled with the little moments that make life worth while and those are the moments we should be focused on. So what did I do? Wait for it....

I created a memory book! Just a little book where I write at least one memorable thing for every day. It's been awesome! It gives me a real chance to look back on my day and search for those little things that made me grin and laugh. At first it was really difficult to think back for some memorable moment in a average day. So I started noticing during the day and I'm so excited to get to write them down! I've discovered that the little things don't get to me as much anymore! I think of ways to make the best out of any given situation. I have more patience with my students and customers.

I have an eternal perspective.

You're probably wondering what the quote at the beginning of this post has to do with anything I've talked about yet... just wait, it does, and here's how: We should not stop to count all the good deeds we do in a day, whether it be for a friend, coworker, family member, or random stranger! However, there are things we should count, like true friends, the moments that make us smile, the things people do for US, our talents, our positive attributes, and a bunch of other positive things. I'm not saying we should all get egotistical. I hate that! I'm just saying that no one likes a pity party and they are so avoidable if you just focus on the postitive!

I don't want to focus on the things I'm good at. That's for me to know and for you to find out. ;) Although, I do want to focus on the things people have done for me in the past few weeks. Yes, I'm going to talk about my tremendous friends. I know I do this a lot, but you tend to value what you haven't always had.

I have the best friends ever! I will not name them because I have to draw the line somewhere and I always hear about it if someone didn't make the cut. I love you all!!!

I have friends who let me vent to them, friends that wake me up from my delusions, friends that say they fail to find something wrong with me (Thanks for pretending), friends that will drive to give me a hug when I really need it, friends that randomly visit me at work and create a record for the most refills, friends who leave HILARIOUS voicemail messages(yes, I save them), friends who create rules and then kindly remind me of them, friends who won't let me think badly of myself, friends who will rescue me from a bad situation, friends that get mad when I say I can "maybe" go on a trip, friends who get mad at those friends who got mad at me for saying maybe, friends who laugh at my stupid jokes, friends who will only go to a party if I'm there (that makes me feel awesome), friends who say they feel like they've known me for ever rather than a few months, friends who love talking through movies, friends who go on drives, friends who go on adventures, friends who stay up talking for hours at IHOP, friends who say I'm beautiful even when I haven't showered for a week, friends who fight over whose ward I should be in, friends who make blanket forts, friends who go on midnight runs to Walmart, friends who love to EAT no matter the time of day, friends who give me piggy back rides, "shanaenae," friends who dance, friends who sing, friends who make me laugh, friends who make me cry, friends who dress down, friends who get spiffed up, I have friends and it's the one thing I've always wanted.

I'm going to start posting my memorable every day experiences on the sidebar of my blog... I hope I can figure it out! I'm excited to show you how awesome life can be... even with a life as busy as mine.

"Life's not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away."

- Hitch