Poems From the Past

I'm a poet and you didn't even know it! I used to write poetry all the time in a darker portion of my life. The frequency of my writing has decreased the light was brought back into my life, however, I often write when I have no one to talk to, or no one seems to understand, or when I have bored the ears off all of my friends. These poems were written a while ago during the aftermath of a difficult break-up. I had been doing homework at the Marriot Library and I couldn't seem to focus on my homework anymore. Seeing as I had no one around that I could talk to, I opened up a word doc. and started writing. The following have been revised, but the integrity stayed in tact.

Please keep in mind that much of it was written as though no one, but me, would read it. 

Enjoy the window into my soul!

A Smile Unreturned

A smile unreturned

Lost in eyes that suddenly drop

An awkward word

Just spit it out

String of compliments

He looks for my eyes

Tears fall down

Force a smile

It's okay I understand

Time passes

Don't understand

Don't know why

Want it all to be gone

Don't want to cry anymore!

Don't want to feel numb anymore

Want to feel the butterflies

Want to feel the excitement of life

Want to feel

Not have an absence of feeling

HEALING

Still don't understand

Still don't know why

It will never completely leave

Love still remains

Tears stopped

Numbness departed

Still miss and wish

I feel the butterflies

I feel the excitement

I feel 

I fell

The Talk

Smile

             Unreturned

Lost in eyes

             Suddenly drop

"So what's up?"

             Stumbling over words

*Spit it out*

             String of compliments

*Here it comes*

             "Didn't feel what I expected"

Air gone

             "It's nothing you did"

"I understand"

             Eye contact

Struggle to keep

              "Still want you in my life"

Doubt

             "I'm Sorry"

"It's okay"

             "Goodbye"

"Bye..."

             Leaves

Run

Conversations with Myself

Why the hell did he do this? I don't understand!!!!!!!

I'm me! I date everyone. I date around. I never gave up guys to date -him- and he screwed it up.

I'm a dating machine and I actually get asked out on dates when other girls just "hang out."

Ridiculous. Who prays about forever after two weeks? TWO WEEKS! Bleh. Idiot.

There's a hole in my chest. All of my feelings are just skin deep, except sadness. I'm sad to the core.

I'm lonely and I cant's seem to shake this feeling.

I "cuddled" with -another- last night and I barely felt anything!

A little flame popped up when he put his head on mine, but I'm not all here.

My heart is missing. -He- has it and I'm not sure if I want it back.